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Fighting Depression #34/’rassling roadtrip #1

July 1, 2018
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Yeesh, another seven months without posting here.  Kinda good, kinda bad.

I’ve been busy a lot of that time, with work and going to some wrestling shows and seeing movies (got the MoviePass last month, have seen ten movies with it already) and playing video games… but also wasting a lot of time, dealing with a lot of mental stress and whatnot.

Hoping to be more active here – been really lax on social media for the most part.

Also, with this part, I’m starting a new post – ‘rassling roadtrip.

(If you want to watch the free stream of the event, you can do so here.)

So, Friday was CEOxNJPW – a New Japan Pro Wrestling affiliated show promoted by CEO GAMING, during the first evening of their three day “Fighting game championships” tournament/convention/thing.

A little history: I’ve been aware of New Japan Pro Wrestling since the early to mid 80s.  Even in Florida, we saw various faces and personages from NJPW, when they came over to spend time abroad (something the Japanese wrestlers generally do in their early years as a wrestler, to gain experience and exposure to other styles and culture – and my summation is horribly terse and probably inaccurate in capturing the spirit of things.)

Throughout the 90s, World Championship Wrestling routinely brought over wrestlers from Japan, and they had a strong working relationship with NJPW.  From The Great Muta (whom I’d been a fan of since the 80s) to Masahiro Chono, Big Van Vader, Ultimo Dragon and others.

I’ve always been a fan of the Japanese style of pro wrestling – the strong style, the athleticism, the high flying.  Even in the 2000s, they started working with TNA/Impact, Ring of Honor, as well as other international companies, like RevPro UK, and I’ve been lucky to have seen many of these events and their up and coming stars and established wrestlers doing “tours”.

So, long story short, I’ve been a fan of NJPW before I ever saw any of their events… and most of the events I saw were through tape/video trading and the like for many years…

Recently, NJPW has increased their worldwide exposure, more tours, more cross-branded events, and their own streaming service, NJPW World.

Last year, NJPW had their first US event, over in California.  This year, I believe they have several coming up this month.  But, flying to CA wasn’t even remotely possible last year (still isn’t really that budget-friendly right now – with plenty of time to save up, I’m sure I could make it happen.)  This was very cool, and gave me hope that I might one day get to attend a live show.

Then, a few months back, CEO Gaming announced a wrestling show would happen at their gaming event in Florida.  In Daytona Beach.  At the Ocean Center.  Thirty-two miles from my house.

Thirty-two miles.  About half an hour’s drive.  From my house.

I had to see this.  I didn’t care how much a ticket cost, I. HAD. TO. SEE. THIS.

So, I did.  I got the day off work (yay, vacation days rule), bought a second row seat on the day tickets were available, and I went.

Actually… and this more of the “Fighting Depression” stuff… I won’t say I almost didn’t go, but I did have to fight a buttload of anxiety.  Since I had the day off, I had a lazy morning, drank coffee, played video games, ate breakfast, and got ready.  Left the house about 1pm, went to Tomoka Eye in Port Orange to order my company-paid for prescription safety eyewear.

I’ve been a permanent employee since October 30th.  I’ve had the paperwork since then, and I just haven’t been able to make myself go.  Several times, my team leader has (good-naturedly) razzed me about still wearing safety glasses over my regular glasses when I should go get my ‘scrip ones.  And she’s right… and I make plans… and stupid depression/anxiety, whatever gets in the way.

But, I finally did.  Then, as it was only 2pm by time I was done there, I caught OCEAN’S 8 at the Regal Pavilion Stadium 14

(The movie was good, story was a bit rote, but it was fun.  The performances were great.  I have a few non-major complaints, but they’re spoilery.  I’d call this a good popcorn flick.)

After that, and after dealing with some anxiety-related intestinal issues, I headed to Daytona.  Got my parking spot, scoped out the Ocean Center (I haven’t been there for any event since the late 90s; my friends and I used to go there for wrestling shows and hockey quite a bit, back in the day.)  Figured out where and when I needed to be, then grabbed lunch at Hog Heaven BBQ.  (Their pulled pork sammich is yummy.  Fries are pretty good, mac n cheese is excellent.)


After that, walked back to the OC and got in line.

And waited.

And waited.

This was my view of the line:


The only complaint I have about the show was waiting.  It started late, the doors opened late, we got seated late, we waited, there were a couple dark matches, we waited some more, there were a few more matches, then some more waiting…

And, really, it wasn’t that bad.  In line, got to chat with some cool cats, check out everyone’s ‘rassling tee shirts (from Lucha Underground to WWE to NJPW to MLW and more.)  Once inside and seated, all was good, as my back and knee were starting to bother me.  (Silly me, I hadn’t thought of bringing any Aleve.)

I’m not going to do a match-by-match breakdown.  Most of my pictures suck, and you can find better pics and more comprehensive reviews written elsewhere, I’m certain.

This was my view of the ring:

062918 njpw ring view

It was a great view.  The fans about me were all sorts of cool – no assholes.  The crowd was hot for the show – excited and vocal.

The two dark matches were decent.  Aaron Epic lost to Chasyn Rance and then, in a complete surprise, Michael Nakazawa showed up to issue an open challenge.  Michael is a great talent, does the comedy wrestler bit wonderfully, and as evidenced at the show, can get cheap heat real fast.  (I’ve seen Michael on CHIKARA Pro videos and have always enjoyed his schtick, so I was really excited when he was announced.)

He talked trash about American wrestlers (and American gamers; as at least half the crowd were people with CEO Gaming attendee badges on, this was easy heat) and issued his challenge to anyone in the crowd, or in the back, who was American.  Of course, dozens of guys volunteered from the crowd, until a young wrestler came down.

We never learned his name, but Michael called him “Skinny Boy”, so that’s what we chanted during the match.  He was young and skinny, so it fit.  And he lost in pretty short order – he got a few good moves in, but Michael won.  And he got back on the mic and started talking more trash, saying he wouldn’t leave the ring until he fought everyone there and the like… until the event organiser, Alex Jebailey, came down in his wheelchair.  (He legitimately hurt his leg a couple days prior to the show.)

Almost defeated from getting in by the security railing that wouldn’t separate, he got the security guys to help lift him over the railing, and he got into the ring on crutches.  It seemed that Alex was going to answer Nakazawa’s challenge… and Michael kicked the crutch out from under him and the bell rang to begin the match.

Jebailey did wonderfully, not being a wrestler and working with one foot in one of those soft casts.  (He later told us that he’d hurt himself training for the match, attempting a flying dropkick off the top rope, IIRC, and is having surgery this coming Thursday for it.)  Michael, of course, being the heel, targeted the injury as much as possible, but in the end, Jebailey pulled out the victory to the delight of the crowd.

All the matches were fun.  I was so excited to see Jushin Thunder Liger, the Guerrillas of Destiny, Rocky Romero, Los Ingobernables de Japon, The Golden Lovers, Ryusuke Taguchi, Dragon Lee and the rest.

We laughed, we clapped, we booed, we cheered, we chanted.

The guy next to me (I originally wrote ‘kid’, and he was pretty young, but hey) was named Louis.  He wore a blue staff shirt for the CEO event and was excited, as this was his very first live wrestling show ever.  I was thrilled for him.  Towards the end, during the main event (The Golden Lovers of Kenny Omega and Kota Ibushi vs Tetsuya Naito and Hiromu Takahashi of Los Ingobernables de Japon), when all four guys were down after hitting moves on each other, he started a “This is awesome” chant.

He needed a loud voice to back him up, to help the chant spread.  I’m pretty good at that, and I totally agreed with his assessment, so I helped his chant by booming it out.  Others jumped in… and in seconds, it had swept across the arena.  He was stoked and I am so glad to have been a part of that.

My favourite moment (outside of being shocked that Nakazawa was there) was when, at the start of the main event, Kota Ibushi demanded to face off against Daryl Jr.

Daryl Jr is Takahashi’s plush cat.  (There was a Daryl, but he got his head torn off.)

Here’s a pic of Daryl and Kota facing off in the ring… (Daryl was seated facing him, but the ring shook and he tipped forward.)



I love that, as serious as Japanese wrestlers can seem, they can be some of the silliest, and most fun, guys out there.

Once again, I want to thank Alex Jebailey, Kenny Omega, and everyone who helped make my dream of seeing NJPW live happen.


Fighting Depression #29 – I’m still here!

June 9, 2017
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So, 15 days gone by, not a post from me.  (sheepish grin)

Let’s see… quick recap, bullet points style!

  • I’m still unemployed.  Still collecting unemployment (“ReEmployment Assistance” in Florida.)  Still putting out applications left and right (minimum required to be on RA is 5/week, I’m exceeding that every week.)
  • I have a job interview next week; I’m nervous as fuck about it.  I did a phone interview, and then an online assessment and now the next step is in-person interview.  This would be a cool job, I think, and it’s 2nd shift (I’m so not a morning person, so that’s a good thing) and it’s manufacturing, so the pay should be more than I was making.  (And, while I’m not really about money, I do like being able to pay bills and the like… plus I’ve accrued some extra debt doing the jobless thing the past five months.)
  • Technically, tomorrow will be five months from when I found out that I was being fired for no reason.  (Yes, I’m still bitter about that.  Even though, from things I hear, I think it’s a good thing I’m not there any more.  Let’s just say, standards have fallen.)
  • I’m scraping by, I’m managing.  Selling stuff online and making some here and there, finding some money I had squirreled away in an envelope three years ago and completely forgot about helps.  I’m starting to look into other avenues should the ReEmployment Assistance run out before I find a job, and there are avenues.
  • Been going to the gym, twice a week most weeks (there was a ten day stretch between visits a couple weeks ago, so that wasn’t good.)  I’m thinking about boosting it three times a week.  Better for my weight loss (which is happening, been about a pound a week most weeks), better for my mental health, too.
  • Saw two new release movies, one last week, one this week.  Last week was ALIEN: COVENANT (I enjoyed it, it wasn’t great, but it was fun) and this week was WONDER WOMAN (oh, so very awesome, loved it.)  I paid $6 to see both of them (did a blood donation a couple weeks ago, and got a $10 Gift Card to EPIC THEATRES.  On Tuesdays, it’s “Discount Day”, shows are $6, $8 on the XL Screen – and, trust me, superhero and scifi movies are MUCH better on that bigger screen.  So worth the extra $2.)
  • I have good, productive days and I have bad days.  Time is starting to get tighter in regards to a steady income (such that it is), so I’m going to have to force myself to have more good, productive days.  I have a plan for the weekend and even early next week.  Plans and lists are tools that help me stay on track, or get back on track when I derail.

So, that’s it, in a nutshell.  Pretty much a holding pattern/same-old, same-old the past few weeks.  Hopefully, this coming week brings good news, but if not, then I’ve got to go into overdrive.  While I’m waiting for that, working on things, looking into avenues, the like.

As always, I thank you for reading.

Fighting Depression #27 – I’m okay.

May 22, 2017
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(Quick plug: I still am selling personal items to help pay bills while seeking employment.  If you like DVDs and Blu Rays, please check out this post.  If you like games – roleplaying, tabletop or PS4, check out this post.)

I’m okay.  (It’s been eleven days since my last post, so you might be wondering…)

I’m not great.  I’m still unemployed.  I still have days where… I just lose myself for a bit.  I’m still a little overwhelmed most of the time, and a lot overwhelmed on occasion.

I’m not horrible.  I’m paying (most of) the bills.  I have a buffer, thanks to the ReEmployment Assistance (though that’s going to run out, it’s not a long-term thing – I’m almost at the halfway point now.)  I have food in my stomach, a roof over my head.  My critters are healthy and happy.  I’m mostly healthy, I believe, and there are times i’m happy.

There have been several screening interviews for jobs (mostly by phone, one in-person.)  There’s been an actual in-person interview/skills test.  They didn’t say how soon to expect a call if I got hired… and I get the sense that it’s not unreasonable to not have heard from them just yet, so there’s still a chance, I’m thinking.

I’m lonely.  I can’t afford to go places on a regular basis that might help me meet or interact with people.  (That being said, I’m likely going to go see a couple movies this week – last week, I donated blood and got a $10 gift card for the local theatre, and tomorrow is their Discount Day, so I’m intending to go see Alien: Covenant… and I got a free screening pass for Wonder Woman on Wednesday.)

I really crave some intimacy with someone, too.  And, really, there’s no way I’m a “catch” right now.  I’m a mess, my life is a mess, my house is a mess.

I’m frustrated with life right now.  Last year, I enacted a plan to Make Things Better.  I budgeted better, got caught up on payments, improved my credit.  Even with the extra weeks’ worth of work I missed last year (and didn’t make up), I was able to do all that.

I had a plan for this year – my five day wrestling weekend was going to involve a hotel room local to the venue (I actually had money saved up for that, but that was used to pay bills to get me through until after said wrestling weekend), and then the rest of the year, the game plan was getting a new(?) car and doing some home improvement projects.

So, yeah.

But, I’m okay.  I.  AM.  OKAY.  I’m not (yet) in danger of losing the house, of being homeless, etc.  I still have time, I still have options.  I need to refocus and tuck my chin and charge through that wall.

I have a reputation.

(Well, I have MANY reputations.  Sadly, most of them are based in truth.)

But, I have a reputation.  I am considered a bit of a force of nature when it comes to my stubborn (some will say bull-headed) nature

So, maybe I need to tap into that and get shit done.

Fighting Depression #26/Movie Time: Guardians of the Galaxy Double Shot

May 11, 2017
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A week ago today, I went to a double feature at the local theatre, the EPIC Theatres West Volusia with Epic XL.  It was a double feature of 2014’s Guardians of the Galaxy and the debuting Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2.

gotg double

This isn’t going to be a break it down to basics review, you’ve probably already seen plenty of those.  This is going to talk about the experience and how it was good for my mental health.

For those new here; I’m blogging some life stuff/etc to help deal with my depression.  I’m self-diagnosed and not seeking professional help at this stage.  I’m also going through a particularly tough time, having been fired (without any explanation) from the not-for-profit no-kill animal shelter that I gave twelve-plus years of my life to.

So, couple weeks back, I saw that there was a double feature of GotG on Thursday, May 4th.  Now, I LOVE GotG.  It’s my favourite Marvel Studios movie.  It’s one of my favourite movies, period.  I own it on blu ray (and it’s one of a select bunch that I am NOT selling – if you want to help a guy pay some bills, please consider looking at the movies I am selling… or you can check here to see the tabletop/roleplaying/PS4 games I have for sale, too.)  I’ve seen it a good 4-5 times now.

The idea of seeing it on the big screen again really appealed to me.  I thought that would be much fun.

The ticket for the double feature was $20.  A bit pricey for my budget, but I had a gift certificate for $12, so it would only cost me $8.  I could justify that – I’ve been treating myself to a meal out about once a week – if I’m having to sell my personal items to pay bills, some of that money is going towards fun stuff.  So I decided this would be my treat for the week.

Now, a little history.  I really dig movie marathons.  I’ve only ever been to two others in actual theatres.  Back in 1987, my friend Todd and I went to Orlando (sadly, I don’t recall the name of the theatre – it wasn’t a big box one, it was a small community theatre with a balcony – we sat in the balcony, it was very cool) and saw A Nightmare On Elm Street and A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge (neither of which I’d seen in the theatre because they were rated R, I was only 15 for the first one, and I didn’t have a consenting adult to go with), as well as the debut of A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors.

It was a VERY cool experience; it was a Friday afternoon, so I played hooky from school (I was a junior in high school, Todd was a senior) and we went to Orlando.  The auditorium was filled to the max, maybe 300-350 people, all rabid Freddy fans.  Watching the first two on the big screen was a lot of fun, we were yelling out lines and such… one vivid memory I have, thirty years later, is EVERYONE yelling the line in sync when Nancy tells her boyfriend Glen (Johnny Depp), “Whatever you do… don’t fall asleep.”

Fast forward to 2014.  Now, I’m a big Planet of the Apes fan.  The original is probably my favourite scifi movie.  It’s certainly my favourite post-apocalypse movie (and I’m a rather big fan of that genre of story.)  I like the five movie series, even the bad one, Beneath The Planet of the Apes.  I own the set on blu ray (and again, NOT SELLING them.)

In 2011, when Rise of the Planet of the Apes came out, I was excited, but with very big reservations, as the 2001 movie sucked balls (though, to be honest, I find myself wanting to revisit that, just to see if it’s as bad as I think I remember it being.)  I put off seeing it at the theatres, so I had to wait until it came out on video (I believe I watched it via Amazon when it did.)  I loved it and was kicking myself for not going to see it… so when Dawn of the Planet of the Apes was coming out, I was excited to see that the UA Seminole Towne Center 10 was having a double-feature with both movies.  (And, yes, I currently own both on blu ray, and, no, I’m not selling them, either.)

I, of course, went.  Was so thrilled to watch RotPotA on the big screen.  Loved the movie even more for it.  (There are some movies that are just so much better on the big screen… and this one was one I already loved.)

Then, DotPotA came on.  It was a 3D movie.

I was horrified.

I’m legally blind in my left eye.  Traditional 3D (the glasses with one red lens, one blue lens) does NOT work for me.  At all.  My brain processes about 98% of my vision through my right eye.  (Even when I cover my right eye, my brain processes so that I ‘see’ through my hand – it processes the left eye image and the image of my hand together.  It’s really cool and weird.)

I thought… ok… well, I’ll try and watch it without.  (I used to try that with the old style of 3D, and get a headache within minutes.)  Then, before the movie actually started, I was like, “fuck it, we’ll try the 3D”.  So, I had to go out and get a pair of 3D glasses (I had no idea DofPotA was 3D, it hadn’t been stated obviously on the website I got the ticket from, though it was listed on the ticket, in small print… I’d have passed on the ticket, or looked for another venue where they were showing the regular version of the 2nd movie instead.)

Guess what?  The new 3D works for me… mostly.  I still don’t get the full experience, but I can see SOME depth and difference.  And, wearing the glasses, I don’t get a headache, so that was good.  (Bottom line, I was able to experience the movie and enjoy it.)

Now, this double feature experience wasn’t as cool as the ANoES triple feature was, because there were only about a dozen people and it was a more sedated experience… but the movies were more than fun enough to make it an experience that I hold dear.

So, walking into the GotG double feature, I wasn’t sure what to expect.  It was about 4pm when I walked into the lobby; the movie was scheduled to start at 4:30.  There was a line queued up already, about twenty-some people.  I got in line, found out there was a raffle, so I presented my ticket to get a number.  There were 5 soundtracks and 3 t-shirts being raffled away, either would be fine to win, I thought, though the soundtrack was the ideal (and everyone else seemed to agree.)

I didn’t win anything, sadly.  I also forgot to pick up the complimentary button/mini-poster set, so there’s that.

All told, I think there were about fifty people as we filed into the auditorium.  I got to sit the very top row, exact center, which is my preferred seat, so I was pleased with that.

This was more of a fun experience, because everyone was EXCITED to see GotG on the big screen again.  When it started, people clapped and cheered.  Throughout the movie, people clapped, cheered, awww’d and more.

The new movie… I loved it.  I know a lot of people out there have complaints, I think you’re all nuts.  It was just as good as the first, I think – and in some ways better (and in some ways, not quite as good.)

Loved the villain; he’s one of my favourite somewhat obscure villains from Marvel comics, so I really enjoyed that.  Loved the little Easter Eggs.  Did I think Stallone was the perfect casting for Stakar?  No, but he didn’t have that much screen time, and what he did, he did fine for the character as it was presented.

Loved the credit scenes.  All five of them.  Third one’s the best, but they were all good.

And the crowd was hip and into it (though about half left after the 2nd credits scene, dummies.)

So, for $8 I got a super fun experience that I’ll remember for years.  And it’s stuff like that that helps me fight the negativity and such swirling around in my brain.

As always, thanks for reading.

Help me help myself – Online Yard Sale #1

April 18, 2017

(As I detailed in my post earlier today, I’m unemployed through no doing of my own.  I’ve been coasting on money I had saved up, and my ‘severance pay’, but money’s getting VERY tight.

I’ve filed for unemployment (“ReEmployment Assistance” in Florida) and waiting for that to get approved.  In the meantime, money is getting tighter and tighter.  Even with unemployment, I’ll need extra money to catch up on bills.

I’ll be posting stuff on Amazon and eBay to sell (and will link to my listings on my blog when that happens), but I’m hoping to generate some quicker cash by selling a bunch of DVDs and Blu Rays.

(Additionally, I won’t turn away any kindness.  If you’ve ever appreciated me for any reason, admired the work I did at the shelter, or want to give me an early birthday/Xmas present, or the like, any generosity would be greatly appreciated.  I’ve always tried to throw a few bucks someone’s way when they needed it, so hoping karma is good to me.  You can use this link to PayPal me whatever like.)

The list below is mostly complete; if I find anything else, I’ll edit this post to include them.

Many of the items are in great condition; some of the DVDs’ cases are shelfworn.  To the best of my knowledge, every disc plays fine.  There’s no money back guarantee, though – this isn’t b/c I’m trying to screw people, this is just practical.  Consider this like a yard sale.

Here’s how we’ll do this; if you see something you want, email me at  Use the subject line ONLINE YARD SALE.  Tell me the items and tell me your shipping zip code.  I’ll use that to figure the shipping cost and then reply with an email for the total.  (I won’t charge for handling/packing, just the cost of the discs and the shipping.)  You Paypal me the money and once it clears, I send the discs (obviously, I’ll need your address.)

A few are listed as sealed; this means they’re still sealed and never watched.  A few are listed as unsealed, this means they came unsealed but have never been watched, or maybe watched once?

Items are first come, first served; I ask that you not inquire if you aren’t able to send the money in short fashion.  I’m kinda in need of funds.

Any questions?  Email me, tag me on Twitter, or hit up my Google+ page (or the actual post if that’s how you found out about this.)

041817 dvds for sale

EDIT – JUNE 17: As I’m starting a (temp-to-hire) job in two days, I’m pulling the ONLINE YARD SALE posts.  If this job doesn’t work out, then I’ll likely revisit them.  (Additionally, I will be selling some stuff, not all that I had listed, on eBay – you can find my listings here – currently none but there will be some later in June – as I still need to catch up on debt accrued during my unemployment.)

A big thanks to everyone who purchased items from me and those who signal boosted.  I made several hundred dollars through this, and that helped with the bill payments BIG TIME.


Fighting Depression #16 – One bad day, two good.

March 21, 2017
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So, the past several days have been more good than bad.  As the title indicates, there was one bad day.  That was Saturday.  Saturday… I just couldn’t bring myself to go out and do anything.  I was supposed to go to the gym, but I didn’t.

Instead, I stayed home and meh’d.  Watched tv (really digging Netflix’s Iron Fist show – watched three eps on Friday and two on Saturday) and some wrestling (FloSlam streamed wXw‘s 16 Carat Gold 3-night tournament this past weekend, so that was highly enjoyable.)

And… um… of course, some more videogaming (mostly No Man’s Sky.  I don’t understand the vitriol about the game, I think it’s been damn good, and since the Path Finder update and the subsequent 1.23 patch, it’s even better.  Granted, I never played pre-Foundation update, but if people are still hating based on that, that’s dumb.)

OH!  I tried watching Yoga Hosers.  You know, Kevin Smith’s newest movie, starring his daughter and Johnny Depp’s daughter.  (Apparently, Johnny and Kevin are both in it as well, though I didn’t suffer long enough to see either of them.)

If you’ve been on the fence, let me help you.  Don’t bother.  It’s crap.  Completely insipid and unfunny.  COMPLETELY.

Sunday was much better.  I drove to Lakeland to visit my friends Glenn and Jen, who moved to Florida late last year and finally got around to having a BBQ with a group of people.  It was approximately 2 hours each way, but totally worth it.

It was good to get out, have a little trip, and spend some social time with two good friends and meet some of their friends.  Glenn cooked burgers and dogs and we talked and laughed and enjoyed the sunny, comfortable day.

Came home and tended to my critters and watched the final night of wXw 16 Carat Gold, which was most excellent.

Yesterday, dropped off some movies at the library and then went to the gym.  Got a good workout in (15min on elliptical, some core/lower back exercises, and then a variety of machines working upper and lower body.  About an hour all told.)

Dinner last night was leftover corned beef with potatoes and onions, which was my St Patrick’s Day dinner on Friday.  Cooked in the crock pot, soooooooo good:

031717 corned beef dinner

Today has been good.  Slept in (woke up tired so hit snooze for an hour, seemed to have done the trick), have had a fairly chill start to the day – morning coffee and No Man’s Sky, took Smiley for a walk, had breakfast and watched some IPW:UK wrestling.  Plan for the day – some housework, revisit my budget, some more Iron Fist, work on grocery list and such for tomorrow’s erranding.

I’m a little sore/achy post-workout but nowhere near as bad as last week, so that’s good.

Speaking of Smiley, here’s a picture of her right now.  She’s tuckered out from her walk (and the walks are shorter than they used to be.  She’s an old girl, at least 12, probably closer to 14, years old.  I know she’s not going to be around a whole lot longer…)

032117 sleepy smiley

Fighting Depression #15 – Pretty chill few days

March 17, 2017
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So, the past several days have been lackadaisical.

Actually NOT really because of my depression, which is usually the cause when I have days of doing next to nothing.

As I detailed in my last post, I went to the gym for the first time in over three years.  Now, even though I’ve not been working out since Feb 2014, I’ve been working a physical job.

But not since January 9th.  Since then, I’ve been fairly, no, mostly sedentary.  Sitting around the house, feeling sorry for myself, for the most part.

So, working out on Tuesday KICKED. MY. ASS.

This wasn’t a surprise.  I’ve been there before.  I’ve gone years w/o working out, started working out and hurt for it.  But, damn, did I hurt.

Also, I can be stupid at times (I’m going to blame the depression on that) – it didn’t occur to me until yesterday to use my TENS unit on the sore muscles.  (Like I said, stupid.) That made a big difference.

So, past two days, stayed at home.  Did laundry, dishes, stuff like that, but that’s it.  Smiley and I have been watching tv (The Path on Hulu, Legion on Hulu, Time After Time on Hulu, Lucha Underground which is now on Netflix, NXT), movies (finally saw The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai in the Eighth Dimension), playing video games (No Man’s Sky, Stories: The Path of Destinies, the latter I ‘beat’ on Thursday) – and yes, Smiley’s been watching me play, not playing.  Listening to podcasts (Welcome To Night Vale, Longbox Heroes: After Dark).

Today, feeling much better, I ran some errands (library, grocery run), came home, started corned beef in the crock pot (which has the house smelling soooooo good) and caught up on some chores.

Tomorrow, heading the gym, running more errands.  Sunday, heading to a friend’s house for a BBQ, so it’ll be good to be out and social.

As always, thanks for reading.

Thoughts on Marvel Studio’s Doctor Strange

March 3, 2017
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So, yesterday, I went and saw DOCTOR STRANGE at the local $2 Theatre.  It was the last day it was showing there, and I really wanted to see it on the big screen, so it was pretty much a must-see sorta deal.

(I’d originally planned on making it a double-header, as FANTASTIC BEASTS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM was also ending yesterday, but after watching the first movie, and grabbing a $5 Whopper combo at Burger King, I was ready to go home.  Part physical pain issues (still not recovered from that hellacrazy volunteer weekend+ last week), part depression issues.  I’ll czech out FBAWTFT when it’s at Redbox, I’m certain.)

Now, my last blog post before a long hiatus was back in 2014, after hearing that they were doing a Doctor Strange movie.  You can read it here.  TL;DR version – they should’ve done it as a tv show first.

Now, the movie… I enjoyed it.  It wasn’t my favourite Marvel Studios movie (that would be GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY, though THOR: THE DARK WORLD, CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER and IRON MAN 3 are close), but it wasn’t the worst either (IRON MAN 2 or AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON, I’d have to say.)

Have you read my previous blog post about it?  Cuz I’m about to make comparisons.  I still think Benedict wasn’t the best casting for the role.  He did good, don’t get me wrong.  I like BC.  He’s an awesome Sherlock Holmes, for one.  He’s done some really good work, in telly and movies alike.  But, he wasn’t super-great as Doctor Strange.

I still think they should have gone with a tv series, would’ve been perfect on Netflix.  Two seasons, maybe three, each about eight episodes long.  Just like I said in the 2014 blog post.  Build the character.  Take your time.

Like most superhero movies, there was just too much going on, crammed into two hours.  The f/x were awesome, but by the end of the movie, I didn’t care how awesome they were any more.  I was a bit overloaded.  (Also, it didn’t help that 99% of the awesome scenes were shown in the trailers. I fucking hate trailers and when I know I want to see a movie, I avoid them like the plague… but it’s still hard to avoid them completely.)

There are going to be spoilers (esp relating to the mid/post-credit scenes)…




Okay, that should get the point across.

Chiwetel Ejiofor was excellent as Mordo.  I really liked how they handled him throughout the movie.  I liked WHY he started his heel turn (wrestling term for switching sides from good to bad.)  Again, it’s rushed.  It would work better during Season 2 of a series.  Introduce him during season one, have him be a rival at first, then friends, then have him start to lose faith… have him turn for all the reasons he did in the movie.

The post-credits scene (as opposed to the mid-credits scene) made it seem like the turn was fully complete.  Now, they didn’t establish how long it’d been, though Mordo says he’d been away “for a while”, but it still felt rushed to me.

Tilda as The Ancient One wasn’t bad.  She did well enough.  I’m not offended or especially bothered that they went with her over, y’know, an Asian actor.  I mean, why not cast, say, the excellent James Hong?  (Or, if it were me, I’d probably go with one of my all time favourite actors, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa.)  But, outside of those questions, no complaints on her role.  She did an excellent job.

Mads as the bad guy worked.  Mads is an excellent bad guy.  Apparently, the character is from the comics and he’s been around longer than I have.  (He first appeared in 1965’s STRANGE TALES (vol 1) #130.)  Who knew? (Not I.)

The mid-credits scene was fun, and promising.  I guess that’s the set up for… the next THOR movie?  I guess we’ll find out in November!

So, what did YOU think of the movie?

Fighting Depression #11 – A week gone by.

March 2, 2017
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(Actually, it’s been eight days since my last post, but ‘a week’ rolls off the tongue mo’ betta.)

So… it’s been a pretty hectic week+.  Well, three of the days were hectic, the other four were recuperating.

As I’ve detailed before, I volunteered with D, someone I know from my time at the shelter (she’s a volunteer there, has been since mid/late 2010), helping her with a fund-raiser she does every year for the races in Daytona.  In the linked post there, I talked about Saturday the 18th, which was the first day.

A week ago today, Feb 23rd, was the second of the four days she needed my help.  (They do five days, but one day isn’t very busy, so it’s just her and one other person.  The other four days it’s the two of them, myself, and D’s brother, R.)  It was also the longest day (but not by much, truthfully… just seemed like it.)

I got up about 8am, showered, took Smiley for her morning constitutional, had my morning coffee, and left the house at 9am.  Swung by the library to drop off a movie, then headed out to her place.  Took her truck to Daytona.

We were there until 7pm.  Parking cars, taking money, socialising with the race fans.  Making sure our reserved parkers got their spots, taking reservations for the rest of the week.  Busy, busy.

It was almost 8pm by time I got home and fed Smiley, then showered and fed myself.  I was beat, my left foot/ankle REALLY didn’t feel too good (and I wasn’t able to find my ankle brace, so I ordered one off Amazon to get delivered on Friday.)

Friday the 24th, I did some grocery shopping and basically took it easy.  Tried to go easy on my foot as much as possible.  Did the usual goofing off (played video games, notably NO MAN’S SKY, which I’m still having a blast with, watched some telly, listened to some music) and minor housework (dishes, laundry.)  Watched EVOLVE 78 on FloSlam, was an enjoyable show.

Saturday the 25thwe had to be there at 8am, so I had to be up about 6:30am.  Earliest I’ve gotten up in almost two months… and hell, longer than that, as my usual wake up time when I was working at the shelter was 7am!

Saturday was fairly busy, but still not a madhouse.  I think Thursday was busier as a whole, though there was more of a later rush on Thursday because it’d been overcast and a little rainy until 4-5pm.  (The Thursday race was a late race, didn’t start until 7pm, I think – about the time we were leaving for the day.)

Saturday started off overcast and breezy and cool, but by 1pm, the sun was out in full force.  It was a good day, but I was BEAT when I got home.  (And more than a bit sunburned.)  It was an afternoon race, so we actually got to leave about 3:30pm.  I stopped at the library on the way home, as a movie I’d reserved was available (MOONRAKER, which is next on my James Bond watch-through, and not available on Amazon Prime like the rest I’ve watched thus far.  Roger Moore isn’t my favourite Bond – in fact, he’s my least favourite – and this movie was god-awful.  I didn’t even finish it.)

Got home about 4:45p, fed Smiley, showered, ate and watched EVOLVE 79 – a fantastic wrestling show, really one of their best yet.  Went to bed early, because Sunday, I had to get up at Stupid O’clock.

SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY! The day of the Daytona 500.  We got there at 7am… so, yeah, I was up at 5:30am.  I don’t even know when the last time I had to get up that early was.  I think I might’ve been asleep around 11:30pm, certainly before midnight, so I got 5.5+ hours of sleep.

Thank goodness I did.  Sunday was crazy.  I think the best way to sum it up is to post what I shared on social media that afternoon after getting home:

Waking up at Stupid O’clock happened.
Getting dressed happened.
Attending to critters’ needs happened.
Coffee happened.
Driving in darkness (cuz, Stupid O’clock, remember) happened.
Riding happened.
Wisely putting on knee brace happened.
Frustrations (not mine) over stupid people (not me) happened.
Setting up signs happened.
Pancakes happened.
Taking money happened.
Directing cars to be parked happened.
Running happened.
Sweating happened.
Candy happened.
Sunshine happened.
More sweating happened.
Vienna sausages and Starbucks Iced Coffee happened.
Getting people to not park in reserved spaces happened.
Making people happy we could arrange for their buddies/niece/other family to park next/near them happened.
Extra donations happened.
Dealing with other volunteers drama happened.
Bottled water happened.
Candy happened.
More directing cars, correcting cars happened.
Making people laugh happened.
Parking lots filling up happened.
Finding creative ways to park cars happened.
Making peoples’ day happened.
Forgetting to take pills happened.
Realising that pills were left at home happened.
Grateful for someone else having pills happened.
More parking happened.
More candy happened.
Parking lots filled up completely happened.
Ticket scalpers leaving happened.
More cars parked happened.
Cleaning up parking lots happened.
Sitting down happened, briefly.
Breaking down the set up (signs, chairs, coolers, snack tray, trash cans, etc) happened.
Riding in truck happened.
Getting in car and driving home happened.
Diet Pepsi happened.
Getting home happened.
Attending to critters’ needs happened.
Hot shower happened (and, oh, was it glorious…)
Relaxing happened.
Yogurt happened.
(Later, ham steak and mashed taters and salad will happen.)
(Movies will happen.)
(Early bedtime will happen.)

Here’s a pic of me Sunday afternoon, post-shower.  Exhausted, but feeling GREAT.  I was reminded that I am, very much still an extrovert, even though I’ve been acting rather introverted the past year.  Talking to people, helping them have a better experience, laughing/joking and interacting feeds me.  (And scroll down to the bottom of this post for some pics of the parking…)


img_20170226_160225Check out that good looking guy…

Monday/Tuesday, very little happened.  I was in all sorts of pain.  My foot was swollen (still is a little, but going down and hardly hurting any more now), my legs were sore from all the running (seriously, even working a physical/active job at the shelter for years, I have not been that sore/that active in a single day in many, many years.)  Some serious slacking happened those two days.  (Some housework, caught up on laundry, stuff like that.)

Wednesday, finished catching up on laundry (changed sheets, washed the dirty ones), did some more housework (vacuumed carpets, first time in a week+ I’m sure), took Smiley for some longer walks as I was more mobile.  (Not that she does long walks, she’s a senior dog, probably 13 years old, so we do shorter walks as a rule.)

Finished playing Telltale GamesTHE WOLF AMONG US.  Really enjoyed it and like the fact that I’ll be able to go back and play it again with different choices and see how the story goes.  Bigby Wolf is my favourite character from FABLES (no surprise there, right?), so getting to play him was a lot of fun.

Started playing UNCHARTED 4: A THIEF’S END again; I’d played it briefly when I first got my Playstation 4 at Xmas, b/c it was the game that came with the console, but hadn’t played it since.  Such an excellent game, really enjoying this one so far.  (Still playing NO MAN’S SKY, and loving that game a whole lot, too.)

Today, I started the day with some coffee and UNCHARTED 4, then did some yard work.  Not much, b/c my back let me know it’s not happy, but cut down some branches to put out at curbside for yard trash pick up today.

Next couple days, will be doing some more of that, catching up on housework/organising, running some errands, and, yes, playing video games, watching tv/movies and reading.  (You can check out my Goodreads for my book reading/reviews.)   And, since the new gym that I signed up for is open, I’ll probably get my ass out there.

As promised, here’s some pics of the parking.  Doesn’t remotely cover all the parking we had, and I have more pics that I’ll probably edit and share later in a separate post.

Fighting Depression #8 – Peaks and Valleys

February 16, 2017
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So, fighting depression has always been about peaks and valleys, for me.  Past couple days, definitely valleys.

Monday, as I detailed in my last post, I made a fairly big step… now, I know it may not seem like much, calling someone and making plans, but it was for me.  (It’s weird, seeing how I’ve changed b/c of my depression.  I wasn’t like this before… and I’m not like this when things are ‘better’, to be honest.  I mean… I’ve been in riots.  I’ve literally fought for my life… but something as simple as a phone call can be so paralyzing.)

Anyhow, so… bringing you up to speed.

Tuesday, I got ARRIVAL as a free rental (well, used a credit earned, 1 every 10 rentals) from Redbox (it was good, not as great as others seemed to make it out to be, liked the twisty-twist.  Aliens were cool, but fairly unimportant to the actual story, were more plot devices.)

And, other than some minor housework (I vacuumed!), all I pretty much did was play NO MAN’S SKY and dinker about on the internet and watch tv and such.  Mostly play No Man’s Sky.

Wednesday was a little more productive, but not by much.  I ran out and dropped off the movies from the other day.  (Oh, yeah, THE CALLING, which was enjoyable.  I like Susan Sarandon, so there’s that.  And GREYSTOKE: THE LEGEND OF TARZAN, which I haven’t seen in a good twenty years.  I think it’s probably my favourite Tarzan movie, because it focuses on the man and how he interacted with society… or his inability to do so.)

Did some more laundry, did some basic housework.  Um… ate food… took Smiley for walks.  Watched WCPW True Destiny, which I really enjoyed.

Today, planning to stay home, have a couple projects in mind.  Have a plan to limit my gaming, setting an alarm for 30 minutes at a time.  Don’t need to spend 6+ hours a day on one game and getting nothing done at all.  (Hey, I’m allowed to game, but for practical and mental health reasons, I need to make myself stick to things.)

Pain’s been an issue the last couple days, bit more than recently.  Suspect it’s mental as well as physical in nature.

Yay, depression.

Anyhow, it’s 1pm and I haven’t eaten breakfast yet, so I’m off to do that and be productive for a bit.

As always, thanks for reading.

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