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Help Me Help Myself Jan 2020

January 29, 2020
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Last year, I had to leave my full time job because of health/pain issues (long story short – I have scoliosis and arthritis and working six days a week, 54 hours a week was more than I could physically/mentally handle.)

Since then, I’ve been doing some work from home stuff (but it’s part time and very hit or miss and well in a miss period, so it’s VERY part time), as well clinical trials (well, I did one and have had little success getting into another) and have been selling stuff on eBay as well.  Oh, yeah, and donating plasma.  And various little side hustles, but it’s getting very tight financially right now.

This post is a call to my social networks, acquaintances and friends, asking for some help in helping me pay my bills until I can get into a job.  (Currently it looks like I’ll be starting one next month, but that’s over two weeks from now, so I still need to generate cash to pay bills to keep me afloat until then.)

First off, if anyone’s feeling generous (and every little bit helps), I’m swallowing my pride and will accept your generosity through Paypal or Venmo.

Secondly, as of today, I have ~100 auctions live on eBay – about 40 will end on Friday and the rest will end next Tuesday.  (And some of the ones ending Friday will get relisted as I still have some ‘free listing’ left for the month of Jan.)  I am selling some tabletop games (roleplaying and board games), comic books, some blu rays and dvd sets and other miscellany.

For eBay, I have a custom short url that you can always use to see what’s currently listed –  I invite you to view the listings, bid on anything that catches your eye, or at least share it with your social circles and put in a good word for me with your peeps if you can think of something nice to say. 😉

(The more eyes I can get on my listings the better chances I have of generating the much needed $ to keep from falling behind on any more bills, so I greatly appreciate it.)

I also have a ton of DVDs for sale cheap that I listed on Craigslist.  I’m perfectly willing to ship them (or if you’re local enough, I’ll meet for $5+ worth.  If I need to drive out of my way, I expect gas money IN ADVANCE – again, I’m selling stuff to pay bills.)

So, whether we’re online friends, acquaintances or whatever, I’m appealing to you to consider buying something or at least sharing this post or the links with your friends and acquaintances – I’m just trying to make ends meet and need some help.

Thank you.


Happy Belated Birthday to me/Help me help myself

September 27, 2019
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(This is a long post, but it’s important, so I ask that you read it and even if you can’t help directly through any of the options, maybe share it with your social networks?)

Hippo Burp Day to meeeeeeeeee! 

So ten days ago was my 50th birthday.  (Yes, I can now say that I’m HALF A CENTURY OLD!!!)  I’m pretty okay with this, think I feel and look ok for my age (well, I feel like shit, but that’s not specifically age related.  More details on that momentarily.)

I haven’t talked blatantly about it, but I left my job in March.  Long story short, I couldn’t physically handle the hours.  As you may (or may not) know, I have scoliosis and while I’ve always worked physical jobs, it’s gotten harder with each year.  Additionally, I was diagnosed with arthritis of the spine three years ago, when I had to go to the ER (after going to the walk in clinic and getting the ‘usual’ treatment for once every other year (ish) episode ‘I hurt so bad I can’t work’.)

Oh, and over the past three years, it’s become more frequent than every other year.  Another complication of getting older, or the double whammy of scoliosis and arthritis, or something else (or a combo of those), I don’t know.

So, let’s get the birthday context of this post out of the way.  I’m soliciting birthday gifts, in the form of money.  I’m in need of money (and the rest of the post is about that, so if you’re against money coming my way through various avenues, feel free to close the window now.)  I need help to pay bills while I try to figure out how to earn more money.  (I have been earning money but not as much as I need – I’ve done a clinical trial, which was a really neat experience and am currently scheduled to screen for another one in a few weeks… but until that happens, IF it happens, I need to figure out other ways.  Also, I’ve been doing a part time – VERY part time – work from home job, but it’s not even keeping up with the minimum amount of hours they claimed.)

So… If I’ve ever made you laugh, smile, wonder, roll your eyes, or otherwise appreciate that you know me, please consider gifting me some cash for my 50th birthday – yes, it’d be a belated present, but that’s ok.  If you’re down for that, you can do it via Paypal or Venmo.  If those two don’t work for you, contact me and we’ll figure out other options.

(And, in advance, thank you.)

Money-grubbing, part two. 

Last year (Sep 24th, to be precise), I ended up with a hernia.  I had surgery on Oct 19th and it worked and I returned to work Nov 21st.  Now, I’m pretty sure the reason I got a hernia was the work I was doing (b/c let’s be honest, between all the hours and the recuperation period every day to be able to work, I didn’t have time for much else – certainly no physical activity, like gym or anything.)

Yes, basically, lifting in a way that wouldn’t hurt my back (any more than it was already doing) led to me getting a hernia.  Fucked either way.  And, returning to work, I couldn’t over-exert those muscles so I ended up hurting my back even more.  (Now you see why I had to leave the job.  Oh, well.. now you see why I went to HR and talked to them about everything, trying to find out if there was some way I could work reduced hours and still keep the job.  And, despite them telling me in that very conversation how much they appreciated me and how much I had learned and proven myself – hell, I was the lead operator of a multi-million dollar automated/robotic cell for my shift – they weren’t willing to let me work a reduced schedule.  And THAT’S why I had to leave the job.)

Now, my surgery cost like… $26K or some ricockulous amount.  Fortunately, I had insurance, and only had to cover ~$3500 of that.  I paid $1000 the morning of the surgery (b/c the hospital waited until then to say, “oh, hey, we need some money from you before we do anything”) and have been paying off the rest… or well, I had been.

Anyhow, I still owe just over $2K for that and have set up a gofundme in case anyone can help out.

Help me Help myself

Those of you who have known me for a while have seen me do this before, between jobs or when things have gotten tough.  I hate asking for money (I’m still a very proud person, though I don’t feel I have any reason to be proud – but that might just be the depression talking.)

So, I have stuff for sale.  I will have way more stuff for sale over the next few days.  As of this post, I have some stuff on eBay.  This weekend, there will be much more stuff posted to said eBay account.

Back in early 2017, when I got unceremoniously (and still unexplained, to this day) fired from the no-kill, not-for-profit humane society that I dedicated my life to for the better part of 13 years, I did some “Online Yard Sale” posts here, and thanks to friends sharing them, I generated some cash that way.  I’m working on several right now, that I plan on posting over the wekend.  I will edit this post to link to them once they’re up.

Again, thank you for reading all the way.

Short recap of links:





Any questions, please email at TERRYFL at the GMAIL.

Fighting Depression #34/’rassling roadtrip #1

July 1, 2018
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Yeesh, another seven months without posting here.  Kinda good, kinda bad.

I’ve been busy a lot of that time, with work and going to some wrestling shows and seeing movies (got the MoviePass last month, have seen ten movies with it already) and playing video games… but also wasting a lot of time, dealing with a lot of mental stress and whatnot.

Hoping to be more active here – been really lax on social media for the most part.

Also, with this part, I’m starting a new post – ‘rassling roadtrip.

(If you want to watch the free stream of the event, you can do so here.)

So, Friday was CEOxNJPW – a New Japan Pro Wrestling affiliated show promoted by CEO GAMING, during the first evening of their three day “Fighting game championships” tournament/convention/thing.

A little history: I’ve been aware of New Japan Pro Wrestling since the early to mid 80s.  Even in Florida, we saw various faces and personages from NJPW, when they came over to spend time abroad (something the Japanese wrestlers generally do in their early years as a wrestler, to gain experience and exposure to other styles and culture – and my summation is horribly terse and probably inaccurate in capturing the spirit of things.)

Throughout the 90s, World Championship Wrestling routinely brought over wrestlers from Japan, and they had a strong working relationship with NJPW.  From The Great Muta (whom I’d been a fan of since the 80s) to Masahiro Chono, Big Van Vader, Ultimo Dragon and others.

I’ve always been a fan of the Japanese style of pro wrestling – the strong style, the athleticism, the high flying.  Even in the 2000s, they started working with TNA/Impact, Ring of Honor, as well as other international companies, like RevPro UK, and I’ve been lucky to have seen many of these events and their up and coming stars and established wrestlers doing “tours”.

So, long story short, I’ve been a fan of NJPW before I ever saw any of their events… and most of the events I saw were through tape/video trading and the like for many years…

Recently, NJPW has increased their worldwide exposure, more tours, more cross-branded events, and their own streaming service, NJPW World.

Last year, NJPW had their first US event, over in California.  This year, I believe they have several coming up this month.  But, flying to CA wasn’t even remotely possible last year (still isn’t really that budget-friendly right now – with plenty of time to save up, I’m sure I could make it happen.)  This was very cool, and gave me hope that I might one day get to attend a live show.

Then, a few months back, CEO Gaming announced a wrestling show would happen at their gaming event in Florida.  In Daytona Beach.  At the Ocean Center.  Thirty-two miles from my house.

Thirty-two miles.  About half an hour’s drive.  From my house.

I had to see this.  I didn’t care how much a ticket cost, I. HAD. TO. SEE. THIS.

So, I did.  I got the day off work (yay, vacation days rule), bought a second row seat on the day tickets were available, and I went.

Actually… and this more of the “Fighting Depression” stuff… I won’t say I almost didn’t go, but I did have to fight a buttload of anxiety.  Since I had the day off, I had a lazy morning, drank coffee, played video games, ate breakfast, and got ready.  Left the house about 1pm, went to Tomoka Eye in Port Orange to order my company-paid for prescription safety eyewear.

I’ve been a permanent employee since October 30th.  I’ve had the paperwork since then, and I just haven’t been able to make myself go.  Several times, my team leader has (good-naturedly) razzed me about still wearing safety glasses over my regular glasses when I should go get my ‘scrip ones.  And she’s right… and I make plans… and stupid depression/anxiety, whatever gets in the way.

But, I finally did.  Then, as it was only 2pm by time I was done there, I caught OCEAN’S 8 at the Regal Pavilion Stadium 14

(The movie was good, story was a bit rote, but it was fun.  The performances were great.  I have a few non-major complaints, but they’re spoilery.  I’d call this a good popcorn flick.)

After that, and after dealing with some anxiety-related intestinal issues, I headed to Daytona.  Got my parking spot, scoped out the Ocean Center (I haven’t been there for any event since the late 90s; my friends and I used to go there for wrestling shows and hockey quite a bit, back in the day.)  Figured out where and when I needed to be, then grabbed lunch at Hog Heaven BBQ.  (Their pulled pork sammich is yummy.  Fries are pretty good, mac n cheese is excellent.)


After that, walked back to the OC and got in line.

And waited.

And waited.

This was my view of the line:


The only complaint I have about the show was waiting.  It started late, the doors opened late, we got seated late, we waited, there were a couple dark matches, we waited some more, there were a few more matches, then some more waiting…

And, really, it wasn’t that bad.  In line, got to chat with some cool cats, check out everyone’s ‘rassling tee shirts (from Lucha Underground to WWE to NJPW to MLW and more.)  Once inside and seated, all was good, as my back and knee were starting to bother me.  (Silly me, I hadn’t thought of bringing any Aleve.)

I’m not going to do a match-by-match breakdown.  Most of my pictures suck, and you can find better pics and more comprehensive reviews written elsewhere, I’m certain.

This was my view of the ring:

062918 njpw ring view

It was a great view.  The fans about me were all sorts of cool – no assholes.  The crowd was hot for the show – excited and vocal.

The two dark matches were decent.  Aaron Epic lost to Chasyn Rance and then, in a complete surprise, Michael Nakazawa showed up to issue an open challenge.  Michael is a great talent, does the comedy wrestler bit wonderfully, and as evidenced at the show, can get cheap heat real fast.  (I’ve seen Michael on CHIKARA Pro videos and have always enjoyed his schtick, so I was really excited when he was announced.)

He talked trash about American wrestlers (and American gamers; as at least half the crowd were people with CEO Gaming attendee badges on, this was easy heat) and issued his challenge to anyone in the crowd, or in the back, who was American.  Of course, dozens of guys volunteered from the crowd, until a young wrestler came down.

We never learned his name, but Michael called him “Skinny Boy”, so that’s what we chanted during the match.  He was young and skinny, so it fit.  And he lost in pretty short order – he got a few good moves in, but Michael won.  And he got back on the mic and started talking more trash, saying he wouldn’t leave the ring until he fought everyone there and the like… until the event organiser, Alex Jebailey, came down in his wheelchair.  (He legitimately hurt his leg a couple days prior to the show.)

Almost defeated from getting in by the security railing that wouldn’t separate, he got the security guys to help lift him over the railing, and he got into the ring on crutches.  It seemed that Alex was going to answer Nakazawa’s challenge… and Michael kicked the crutch out from under him and the bell rang to begin the match.

Jebailey did wonderfully, not being a wrestler and working with one foot in one of those soft casts.  (He later told us that he’d hurt himself training for the match, attempting a flying dropkick off the top rope, IIRC, and is having surgery this coming Thursday for it.)  Michael, of course, being the heel, targeted the injury as much as possible, but in the end, Jebailey pulled out the victory to the delight of the crowd.

All the matches were fun.  I was so excited to see Jushin Thunder Liger, the Guerrillas of Destiny, Rocky Romero, Los Ingobernables de Japon, The Golden Lovers, Ryusuke Taguchi, Dragon Lee and the rest.

We laughed, we clapped, we booed, we cheered, we chanted.

The guy next to me (I originally wrote ‘kid’, and he was pretty young, but hey) was named Louis.  He wore a blue staff shirt for the CEO event and was excited, as this was his very first live wrestling show ever.  I was thrilled for him.  Towards the end, during the main event (The Golden Lovers of Kenny Omega and Kota Ibushi vs Tetsuya Naito and Hiromu Takahashi of Los Ingobernables de Japon), when all four guys were down after hitting moves on each other, he started a “This is awesome” chant.

He needed a loud voice to back him up, to help the chant spread.  I’m pretty good at that, and I totally agreed with his assessment, so I helped his chant by booming it out.  Others jumped in… and in seconds, it had swept across the arena.  He was stoked and I am so glad to have been a part of that.

My favourite moment (outside of being shocked that Nakazawa was there) was when, at the start of the main event, Kota Ibushi demanded to face off against Daryl Jr.

Daryl Jr is Takahashi’s plush cat.  (There was a Daryl, but he got his head torn off.)

Here’s a pic of Daryl and Kota facing off in the ring… (Daryl was seated facing him, but the ring shook and he tipped forward.)



I love that, as serious as Japanese wrestlers can seem, they can be some of the silliest, and most fun, guys out there.

Once again, I want to thank Alex Jebailey, Kenny Omega, and everyone who helped make my dream of seeing NJPW live happen.

Fighting Depression #33 – The Holidays Are Here

November 24, 2017
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Been over three months (!!!) since my last Fighting Depression update.

That’s kinda a good sign; been very busy with work, which helps me not have too much time to dwell on things and beat myself up over them.  That’s not to say that I haven’t had some issues with depression, I certainly have.  A couple weeks ago, had one week that was particularly rough, pain management and depression-wise.  (And I notice that when the latter is bad, the former tends to be amplified.)

Yesterday (obviously) was Thanksgiving.  The holidays are always rough for those who deal with depression.  Especially when you’re alone.  I’m missing having someone special in my life, someone to share holidays with… and I’m also missing having friends to spend time with, hang out, share the holidays with.

Money is still tight, even making over $3/hr more than I was this time last year. It seems I’m always dancing a fine line, juggling flaming bowling balls, just hoping my car lasts long enough, hoping nothing breaks around the house, hoping my health stays outside of anything serious…

But, there are things I’m thankful for. The presence of people in my life, even if just through social media. Having a good job that pays better than I’ve ever been paid before, that has benefits, that actually takes care of their employees, instead of taking advantage of you while praising you to your face for years and then tossing you aside with no explanation given. (No, I’m not at all bitter… actually, I’m mostly not any more… it’s just that’s exactly what they did.)

I’m thankful that I’ve managed to keep my house; it’s been touch and go multiple times over the years, but I’m still here, it’s still mine. It’s not in the best condition, there’s lots of things that need to be attended to, but it keeps me comfortable/safe from the elements, keeps my critters safe and content.

I’m thankful for my critters; I’m surprised Smiley is still with us, I know she’s at least thirteen years old now, VERY likely older.. and the average life expectancy for a pit bull is usually thirteen to fifteen years. It’s my job to keep her safe and spoil her (and she’s snoring on her couch – yes, HER couch, not mine – right now, so I think I’m doing a pretty good job, there.)

The cats are happy, well-fed, comfortable, safe, too.

So, it’s an effort, but I’m reminding myself of what I’m grateful for.

Posted in Animals, Work
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7 Days 7 Photos 7/7

October 28, 2017
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Huzzah, I completed a challenge.  Wootness abound!  Today, I’m challenging Heather, cuz she’s all sorts of photographytastic.

Rules to the challenge:

  • Black and while photos
  • Photos of your life
  • No people
  • No explanation
  • Challenge someone each day


7 Days 7 Photos 6/7

October 27, 2017
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Today’s challenge goes out to Mark Whitley!

Rules to the challenge:

  • Black and while photos
  • Photos of your life
  • No people
  • No explanation
  • Challenge someone each day


7 Days 7 Photos 5/7

October 26, 2017
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Today’s challenge to play along goes out to one of my favourite peeps, and a cool writer, Zoe.

Rules to the challenge:

  • Black and while photos
  • Photos of your life
  • No people
  • No explanation
  • Challenge someone each day


7 Days 7 Photos 4/7

October 25, 2017
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Apropos to the content of the photo, I’m challenging Welcome To Night Vale to play along.

Rules to the challenge:

  • Black and while photos
  • Photos of your life
  • No people
  • No explanation
  • Challenge someone each day


7 Days 7 Photos 3/7

October 24, 2017
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(Whoops, forgot to post one yesterday, gonna try to schedule posts so I don’t do that.)

Today, I’ll challenge Kerry Awful, I think he’d have some neat photos.

Rules to the challenge:

  • Black and while photos
  • Photos of your life
  • No people
  • No explanation
  • Challenge someone each day


7 Days 7 Photos 2/7

October 22, 2017
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Today, I’ll challenge Lisa.

Rules to the challenge:

  • Black and while photos
  • Photos of your life
  • No people
  • No explanation
  • Challenge someone each day

102217 day 02

Posted in Life In General, Meme
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